Tag Archives: lessons

What the…

How did I do this?  On Friday, in an effort to lean on the more healthy side of eating, I had cereal for breakfast.  Then, on the way to work, completely out of about a two-week habit, I made my way way to pick up breakfast tacos.

Two breakfasts in a matter of an hour.

Obviously, I’m not listening to my body this week.  If I had been, I would have realized, prior to picking up breakfast tacos, that I wasn’t hungry.  I would have realized prior to that, that I felt perfectly full from cereal.  And, if I wasn’t so slammed with work and social activities this past week, I would have just paid more attention to what I was doing.

It is a constant reminder I must make to myself to be mindful with my eating.  Don’t eat out of convenience or habit.  Don’t eat just to eat.  Don’t eat just to socialize.  Eat to sustain, to nourish.  That is the real purpose of food.

 

 

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Friday Update

Well, I shouldn’t be disappointed that I didn’t hit two-three-something on the scale today, but I am.  I actually woke up around 5, weighed, back to bed.  Then woke up around 6:30, weighed, back to bed, and finally at 7:30, woke up, weighed and recorded.  Still in the 240s, but so close!  And, this is my lowest weight to date, so I need to quit my whining!  Check out my nearly year on year progress (6 more days for it to be exactly 1 year):

Nearly 30 pounds lost!  That is insane!  I know some people lose more than that in a year, but I laid out a plan for my size months ago, and I have not missed the schedule yet (knock on wood!).  And look at my waist!  over 7″ gone.  GONE.

GONE.

Though I am so proud of myself, I find myself asking, “Couldn’t I have done more? Lost more weight? Eaten less? Worked out more?”  But, I really need to push those feelings aside and congratulate myself on progress to date, and for sticking to my schedule.

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My Fit Foods – Post 1 of quite a few

Today, I had my appointment with My Fit Foods.  As a quick background, if you’re new to this blog, I recently decided that I really have a decent handle on working out, and food is where I’m struggling the most.  After looking into Jenny Craig, NutriSystem and a few other weight loss programs, I decided to try out My Fit Foods.

While I can cook a healthy meal with the ease of following a recipe, I had found that working out and cooking a meal in the same evening was proving unlikely.  I’d leave work by 6, leave the gym by 7:30, and would be starving by the time I got home.  Without the patience to cook a meal at that point, I turned to higher calorie convenience food (popcorn for dinner, anyone?).

My Fit Foods has prepared meals you pick up in a store.  They provide everything from soup to nuts if you want it – breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, vitamins, supplements, juice, high pH water, lemons (for the liver cleanse – I’ll get to that), and so on and so on.

I have a pretty limited budget, so soup to nuts was not in the cards, as it comes in at about $625 for 3 weeks.  Instead, I decided to go with two meals per day (lunch and dinner).  I figure I can handle breakfast on my own (though it may not be EXACTLY what they would have wanted me to eat).  And, when it comes to vitamins and supplements, I have my head wrapped around that pretty well, so the only sup I bought was Milk Thistle (which I realized after I got home was only a 2-week supply.  wah wah.).

Now, the liver cleanse.  This is a “cocktail” you make every morning and chug down.  It includes: juice from half a lemon, 4 oz. unsweetened cranberry juice, 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar.  An optional element is B-12 juice, but I passed on that this time around.  It tasted pretty rancid.  I might cut it with water in the morning to see if that improves the flavor.

So, with 13 meals (I decided to try 1 breakfast, one snack, and I received a free meal for trying out the plan), the Milk Thistle supplement, unsweetened cranberry juice, it came out to $89.  Not GREAT, but not ideal.  If you load up your account with money in advance (starting at $500), you get free money.  For instance, “buying” $500 gets you $525 in your account.  More if you pre-pay more.

Here is what I really enjoyed about the experience.  For starters, it was SO INFORMATIVE.  The girl walked me through this large packet of info that was NEW to me.  This really was the science I had hoped to get from the nutritionist.  There was information on caffiene, sleep, supplements, when to eat your carbs, etc. etc.  I truly learned several things today.  I also love that their meals have a 5 day shelf life – makes me believe them when they say they are low or no preservatives.  They are 90% gluten, soy and dairy free.  They focus on the Glycemic Index (great for someone who has diabetes in their DNA).

Overall, it was a great, great experience and I can’t wait to report how I do and how it works.  I also look forward to sharing some of the tidbits of information I uncovered!

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The Other Departments

I spent Saturday afternoon shopping with my cousins and aunt at the Corpus Christi mall.  Shopping, since I was in high school, has always been a non-event.  Only a handful of stores sell my size (ahem, 18), and so I spend most of the day enjoying company and shopping the accessories or shoes.  On occasion, I meander to a Lane Bryant or Macy’s.

Today was really no different (though it was of course wonderful to see family), but as my waistline shrinks, I start to see little glimmers of possibility.  As I stepped into Francesca’s, I felt like I was in Jessica Day’s (i.e., the New Girl’s) closet; everything was bright and colorful, and easy like Sunday morning.  Of course, the largest size was “L.”

I expected no less (or rather, no more) from boutique-like places, or the likes of Buckle, Victoria’s Secret, Forever 21, and all the other places my cousins shop.  At the end of the night though, I made my way to my trusty ol’ Macy’s “Women’s World” department.  I was discombobulated, as it has been moved to a new floor.  But, I can almost always find a great deal here, in my style, in my size. The thing is, with the new location, and my near-regular sized butt (well, regular, in my head at least, is sizes 0-16), I find myself dipping into the regular-sizes departments (for tops and full-skirted dresses).

As I looked out upon the vastness of the department floor, and my general experience with shopping Saturday, I became quickly overwhelmed at where I’m going to be in a few short months (in size 16s, that is).  I will be able to shop at SO MANY new stores, and be able to shop an entire floor of a department store, and not just my little department.

And it hit me – just how comfortable I had become in plus sized clothing.

I remember a time in sixth grade (yes, sixth), my mom tried to take me shopping in a plus sized women’s clothing store at the mall.  I refused and was likely completely bratty about the whole thing.  I was mostly concerned of being seen in such a store (as the mall was THE most likely place to run into a classmate).  In fact, thinking back it is silly that I had such a strong reaction, as any person could see I was overweight.  My mom was just trying to find clothes that fit me, and I was in complete denial of my size, I suppose.  Anyways, the clothes were tacky (I could tell from the ear piercing kiosk I scorned the store from).

At that time, I was a size 18, but I picked up tennis around then and leveled out around a size 10.  In high school I can remember being a size 14 in my tennis skirt, and in college I remember some Limited crop pants I had in a size 12.  What I don’t remember is the day I crossed into the plus size department.  I don’t remember the day I went to the Gap, tried on some 16s (the largest they sold in stores), and went “Oh crap, these don’t fit.”  I can remember in 2003 – 2005 (post college), ordering clothes from Gap.com in 18s, then 20s, but I really, truly, cannot remember walking into a plus size store or department for the first time.

Back then, plus sized options really, really sucked.  But now, recently, oh my.  That department and those stores have become SO easy for me.  When I was in sixth grade, I had some incentive to lose weight – the plus sized clothes were terrible, and I didn’t want to get caught in one of those stores  But these days, the clothes are on-trend, made to flatter, and not frumpy.  I can see how it is just so easy to stay at a larger size when the options are pretty good.

Still, the department is small.  The stores that offer sizes over 16 are limited.  And so Saturday night, as I allowed myself to dip into the “regular” sized clothing, I realized how much freedom I will have.  Even though my options in plus are good, if I found something that remotely flattered, I had to buy it because the number of stores are limited.

I feel like I’m contradicting myself a bit, so let me explain. 18 or so years ago (when I was in sixth grade), a dress option might be rather moo-moo like.  Today, I definitely have more options of cuts, colors and prints, but there are still maybe just three A-line cut dresses, and one may be an unflattering color, while the other might be too short.  So, the dress I end up with is far better than a moo-moo, but there was still just ONE.  Better options, but not limitless.  Regular sized clothing feels limitless.  And thus, wonderful and overwhelming at the same time.

One of many challenges with plus-size clothing is that since so few stores sell it, you’re stuck with the style of clothing available to you.  It wasn’t all that long ago that plus size women’s clothing meant frumpy, baggy, and shapeless tops and bottoms.  The waist of the pants sat inches above the belly button, and likely had elastic in it.  But as retailers have recognized obesity in this country (the MEDIAN sized woman is a 12 – half of women are over, half under), they are more keen to buy the big girl version of regular sized fashions.  Still though, the options were limited.  And comfortable.  And finite.

So plus sized clothing is double edged sword these days.  The increase in availability makes it easy to look modern up to a size 32 or something; you are not incentivized (as you once were, in the early 90s) to lose weight in order to maintain some sense of fashion.  And, since the finite selection of stores/options for plus size clothing was limited, your choices became easier.

As I lose weight though, I’m both excited and overwhelmed at my upcoming options.  Excited because there are even MORE opportunities to find clothes that suit my fancy, overwhelmed because there are so many opportunities to find clothes that suit my fancy.

My friend Tracy tells me she finds department stores overwhelming, and only Saturday did I get a sense of that.  With the plus sized department moved to another floor, I was able to dip into the size 16 dresses across the aisle and became quickly engulfed in options.

I’m so curious to see how my shopping habits may change over the next year.  Will I shop more stores, or limit my stores to a select few to keep a similar experience to Women’s World?  Will I discern my purchases more, knowing that the next store very likely WILL have more options (rather than wondering)?  Will I ever be able to buy off the rack again at Gap? ;)

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Nutritionist and Chiropractor

I have made a difficult decision to discontinue seeing my nutritionist.  After two appointments (at $60 each, no less), I felt that the education I had hoped to gain by seeing her just wasn’t there.

Granted, the fundamentals of nutrition and weight loss were there (e.g., calories-in/calories-out, low sodium, and appropriate amounts of carbs), I just felt there was more technical information I had hoped to gain.  What do I mean?  I’m not sure.

After my first appointment, I felt pretty “meh” about the experience.  I had hoped that it was just the standard first-timers visit that lacked luster.  After all, I really didn’t get any new information (though I will attribute SOME value to a professional confirming what I already know/thought).  The second visit I thought would get more detailed.  Again, not really sure what, exactly, but I thought there might be more specific info on supplements (e.g., Fish Oil), or specific foods.

I was not looking for some miraculous speed pass to weight loss, trust me.  I just felt there should be more science to it.

Here is how my 2nd appointment went down:

1.) I shared with her two weeks of my calorie tracking, including information on carbs, fats, protein and sodium.

2.) She expressed impression

3.) She says “Ah ha! I think I see a pattern” (smirks with knowledge I supposedly don’t have)

4.) She confirms that I am having one sweet a day (such as a milky way fun size, or a Cadburry egg)

5.) I confirm that I have one candy a day (or a Starbucks, or something else)

6.) She tells me to keep it to one sweet per day (umm, as you see in my records, and as I’ve just told you, that’s what I do…)

7.) She points out that a few of my meals are carb heavy even though the calories were reasonable (ok, this ONE tidbit was new…)  We talked about how meals should be 30-45 carbs, and snacks should be 15-30 carbs).

8.) As she continues to review my food journal, she asks ME what I think my biggest problem is.  Dinner I say.  She agrees. This is actually where I start taking issue.  Maybe she would have pointed this out anyway, but it’s like going to a doctor with a sore throat and her asking “What do you think the problem is?” Me: “Strep throat.” Doctor: “That’s just what I was thinking!”

9.) I share with her a print out of a meal plan.  It has 7 days of meals planned out and then the associated grocery list.  Nutritionist: “Where did you get this?”  Me: “I made it.  I do this often.”  Nutritionist: “Wow!”  This strikes me as odd, too, because what I’m showing her is practically something I would have expected her to provide to me.

10.) We weigh in.  2 pounds lost in 2 months (yeah, the February/March plateau).  She suggests I come back in 4 months, to which I think, “What for?”

I did make the appointment, but at $60, I just feel I should be getting more.  Everything she has told me has come from a book I’ve already read at some point.  It is info I have already known.  Sure, having a medical professional reiterate it face-to-face makes a difference, but not a $60 difference.

I decided to pull the plug after talking to my Chiropractor.  Now, I LOVE my Chiro.  She’s my ultimate source of natural health and healing information. Without being preachy, she’s expressed her distaste for antibiotics, gotten me on fish oil, shown me stretches to help with my hip and knee pain, and commiserated with me when I hated my physical therapist.  Here is how my last appointment with HER went:

1.) Me: I had to go to another chiro last week because you were booked and I was in pain.  He was awful.  Here’s what’s wrong: ever since I saw him, I have numbness along the outside of my right thigh from time to time.  I saw him because my left hip has really be bugging me since I hurt it playing tennis, and it’s just been getting worse (despite seeing him).  Also, my left ankle/heel has been really tight.  He adjusted it, but it doesn’t feel better.

2.) Her: You poor thing!  Where do (all those things) hurt, exactly, and when do they hurt most? What’s the pain level.  How is your neck?  Hmmm.  Do you have any ear aches?

3.) Me: Yes!!!  I thought I was getting sick!

4.) Her: And what about headaches?

5.) Yes!  I’ve been having a weird headache throughout the right lobe of my brain.  Usually they are on the surface, but this was was IN my head.

6.) She works on my body.  For my left heel, she does some deep tissue work in my left calf, which was painful at the time, but it no longer feels like it needs to be stretched.  For my hip(s), she massaged my butt and worked out some of the really tight knots in there (again, ouch at the time).  She adjusted my back, then worked on my neck.

7.) The results: headaches – gone.  Earache – gone.  Ankle/heel pain – gone.  Hip(s) – still on the mend but better.

8.) We talked about stretches, particularly for my front left hip.  I am convinced that stretching that muscle is particularly difficult anyways, and more so when you have fat that prevents you from what would otherwise be your full range of motion.  Think about doing the splits at 240+ pounds.  Your muscles may have the flexibility, but your butt fat on that back leg will simply be in the way.

Anyways, without meaning to, the Chiro convinced me to quit my Nutritionist.  She assured me there is more science to nutrition and that my nutritionist just maybe isn’t all that good.

And so, with that, I cancelled my last appointment and am now nutritonistless.  For the price my insurance charges, I think I’m done with nutritionists for now.  I will rely on books and magazines that site nutritionists for that sciency info I hoped to get from the nutritionist, and continue my calories in, calories out, plan that’s been working for me.

 

 

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This and That

So, a little content for my readers (In hopes that you won’t notice I have yet to post my Search for a Gym Part 2 article).

First of all, WELCOME!  There have been SO MANY new visitors from the Prior Fat Girl blog site.  ‘Tis true, I did not win a spot as a blogger on that site, but knowing I have so many supporters (and votes!) is a great consolation prize.  I hope I can deliver on all of your expectations.  Yesterday was the biggest day my little blog has ever had :)

Regarding my perfection post of last week, le sigh.  I have not been perfect.  I haven’t been terrible – I’ve been working out a lot, despite some hip issues.  I AM working around the hip pain for the moment, but I will see the doctor today and confirm it is nothing serious.  I did talk to a nurse friend of mine (she happens to be a doctor of nursing, and a former bone nurse (the term is escaping me)) who thinks it is a hip sprain or just general strain.

I have continued in my search for a gym, taking full advantage of trial memberships and such, just to make an informed decision.  Lifetime Fitness – oh my!  So many options, such quality machines and classes.  And the hot tub, steam room, etc.  Why is it 8 miles away?

I will be back soon with news about my hip and my fun little Gym spreadsheet!  Promise.

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Shoot for the Moon

“Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”  -Brian Littrell

It is completely possible you have seen this quote on a magnet at a cutesy gift shop.  Anyway, this quote has really been swirling around in my head quite a bit lately as I have contemplated the idea of perfect eating and activity.  It is no secret I have half-assed it (admittedly) at times in the past nine months.  I’ve had plateaus and so-called set-backs.  I’ve gained weight when my goal is obviously to lose it. My most unsuccessful weeks are the unfocused, whiney and feeling-sorry-for-myself because of the enormity of losing 100+ pounds weeks.

My best weeks are focused.  Well-planned.  Full of activity and vegetables, lacking in food cooked out of the home.

“Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”  Perfection for me is the moon, but since I haven’t been shooting for it, I’m landing – nowhere.  No stars.  Well, maybe not NOWHERE, per se (I HAVE lost weight).  But this has me asking – where WOULD I land if I shot for perfection?

The idea of perfection has overwhelmed me for some time.  I have really been thinking of what it means I will need to give-up, rather than what it means I will take on.  It is completely possible I will learn even more healthy eating and activity habits. Will I always be perfect?  Much to my chagrin, likely not. BUT, I don’t want to be so forgiving with myself when I do fall off course.

As part of this effort (starting Monday Tuesday), I will also be aiming for a three-pound-per-week weight loss.  “GASP!” I hear?  Yes, it is drastic.  But again, it comes down to shooting for the moon.  If I shoot for 3lbs (based on healthy eating and increased activity), imagine what might happen on the scale.

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Vacation – Final Thoughts

Vacation is (was!) amazing.  And a perk to it all – I managed to lose weight (a little less than a pound, but a loss all the same).  On my last day of vacation, back inAustin, I slept in, got a pedi, potted some flowers, went to boot camp AND THEN went to the gym.  Oh yes!

So what was my secret for losing weight?  Weeeeeeell, for

(1) Chicago is a very active city – you walk everywhere.  In Austin, you really have to drive everywhere.  Though I lived there for some time, I think most of my stops were on-the-way, or else I would drive to them. For instance, shopping: I stopped into the stores on the way home, but if I was intentionally shopping, I would drive.

(2) I wasn’t so busy that I had to fit in meals I didn’t have time to mindfully consider.  It wasn’t about what was easy and quick, but rather I could carefully plan the time of my meals and snacks so they were 3-4 hours apart.

(3) I didn’t order everything on the menu.  I never *really* did that, but I would order an appetizer to share, a meal with sides, and a diet soda or alcoholic beverage.  This time around, it was water all the way and no appetizer.  And, as I mentioned in my previous, Bottomless Pit post, I didn’t always finish everything on my plate.

(4) Food is less of my focus this particular week.  I mean, I hope the feeling lasts, but it was really all about reconnecting – with or without food.

I unfortunately cannot credit any weight loss to working out.  Every time I considered it, there was some guilt about having “me” time when I have a limited amount of time with friends.  This is something for me to think about, for sure.

The last four days of my vacation were wonderful.  Just more of seeing old friends, visiting my old church, and just relaxing with my nook to absorb a taste of my old life.  Here are pictures of me and some of my friends/family:

Hanging out in the car with my Great Aunt - Jean :)

When at my Aunt's house, this is where I slept

This is the home of my wonderful friend Linda, and her family (well, sort-of - they live in one of the town homes, though not the one pictured).

Linda and I at Lou's pizza

At the Bulls game with friends!

The Bulls!

And (and, and, AND) I’m soooo close to the next 5lb mark!  Maybe by next Friday :)

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Vacation Part 2

This vacation is very different from my general idea of vacation.  With a “normal” vacation for me, I’d love to be in a big, preferably foreign, city and peruse the streets taking pictures.  Visiting Chicago feels a little like the early days of college when I would visit my home town of Corpus Christi – so many people you want to see, with little interest in sight seeing.  And before you know it, you trip is half over and you feel like there were so many people you didn’t connect with.

Also, I thought I would be ALL ABOUT the eating out at my favorite restaurants, and that I would have to fight the urge to order too much when I undoubtedly went to them.  Instead, I’m not feeling the urge to visit them all.  The only one I *really* wanted to visit has been visited, and anything else, I can take it or leave it.

Last night, I had dinner (at 4:30 PM) with my 92ish Great Auntie Jean, her daughter and son-in-law.  I guess when you’re over sixty, your idea of “a good restaurant” is vastly different.  It’s about decent tasting food, LOTS of options (but no real specialty), and value.  It just so happened that what I ordered came with a salad AND a side AND a drink AND a dessert.  Oh my.  I nibbled on everything, though left 90% of my fettuccine Alfredo in my Aunt’s fridge.

This morning, when she pressed me to tell her what I wanted for breakfast, I told her I’d cook some eggs.  By the time I walked in the kitchen, she had pulled out everything I would need – two eggs, pan, spatula AND… a pat of butter, already in the pan. Guess the concept of olive oil spray has not made it to the pre-boomer generation yet.  And so, I had buttery eggs so as not to offend or confuse my little aunt (though I can honestly say I’d have preferred not to).

This evening, I had a great time.  I met my friend Linda and her family at a local Chicago pizzeria before heading to a Bulls game (my first!).  Again, I did really well (all things considered) with eating, having just one (one!) slice of pizza, salad, and one slice of fried zucchini and one fried cheese ball.  I spent the rest of the evening curled up on the sofa dishing with my pal Linda.  Perfect day :)

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Vacation, Part 1

So yesterday, I made my way to Chicago!  I happen to be staying in my old neighborhood, and seeing tons of old friends (so much so, that I haven’t really left any time for sight-seeing!).  It’s also been a flashback into old (and lingering) eating habits.

Let’s just start with the worst of it and get that over with.  I have not been to an airport since 2010.  I used to travel quite a bit for travel and recall business travel being the time I “get” to eat at the airport.  I would get to the Chicago airport with enough time to have breakfast at the airport Chili’s – dine-in.  Yesterday though, I arrived at the airport with the intention of getting just ONE breakfast taco from the Austin Airport’s Maudie’s.  Standing in line and reviewing the menu board, I see that there is a breakfast combo with two tacos for $6.  And so without thinking, guess what I purchased?  After receiving the two tacos, I recalled my plan, and decided to have one before my flight and save the other for the tail-end of my flight.  Forgot again.  Before I knew it, I’d eaten both tacos prior to flying and didn’t remember my plan until much later (when I was hungry again).

This frightened me slightly.  How easy it is to mindlessly put on weight (I’d done it for years)!  Even when TRYING to be mindful, the slightest distraction can well, distract you from the best of intentions.

So that was the worst of it, honestly.  On the positive side:

(1) The airplane used to be a time for free soda.  (Side note: I used to have a mantra that free food/drink trumps healthy food/choices).  But, with the two tacos mentioned above, I also purchased a bottled water.  So, I politely declined the beverage choices and peanuts, as I’d just had an unintentionally large breakfast.

(2) A friend of mine asked me to pick up lunch and bring it by his place (he’s not rude – just works from home and was on a 3-hour conference call).  He’d asked me to pick up some Noodle and Company, though I had to talk him out of it, as the only think that looks appetizing (to me) on that menu is mac and cheese or grilled cheese.  His alternate was Panera.  Now, Panera might very well be a small part of the last 20 pounds I gained.  I would spend my last Saturday’s in Chicago there, studying for the Teaching exams.  I would typically order an Asiago bagel with garden veggie cream cheese and something else (nothing in particular).  This may not be THAT bad for someone maintaining weight, but I was not in maintenance at that stage in my life.  I just needed a good study spot.  Still, I was surprised to see they had low-calorie soup options (and the salt wasn’t terrible either).  Not the most nutritious, but considering I hadn’t eaten since 7:30 AM (and it was now 1:30 PM), I was mostly interested in kick-starting my metabolism again.

(3) I went to one of my favorite burger places here, The Counter.  I am embarrassed to say that (a) I have day dreamed about this place and their pretzel buns and one of the most amazing veggie burger patties around.  In addition to my standard, (b) I would always encourage the table to get an order of either sweet potato fries or Parmesan fries.  This place would turn me into a bottomless pit.  Yesterday though, I stuck to the burger and stole only a FEW fries off the plates of my friends.  In the end, my meal was between 700 and 800 calories (including the fries).  That’s more than my typical dinner, but my calories for the day were under 2,000, which still creates a deficit.

(4) I went grocery shopping upon arrival – to get breakfast and snack items, and identified the new trader joe’s near my “hotel” for other quick meals.

I’m really excited to be on vacation.  I still want to get exercise in, but feel the tug to spend as much time as I can with friends.  I know someone will post and say to work out with friends (and perhaps I will), but for the moment, I’m really trying to get on the road to see my 90-year-old great-aunt!!

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