Me and shorts – we go way back. From the itty bitty ones I wore as a kid, to the white shorts I thought I could never wear once I started my “lady” days, the Umbros I wore in 4th grade, the plaid J.Crew ones I squeezed into in high school – I spent my pre-college days in shorts.
And then it hit me. The bumps. The cottage cheese. The dimples. It was the dreaded cellulite that is seemingly impossible to get rid of. You see tiny-in-the-waist ladies with it and think, “If she has it at size 2, I have no hope!”
And so, around college, I gave up on shorts for the most part. I still had some to work out in of course, and some to float down the river in (because heavens to betsy, nobody was seeing my rear end in a swim suit). And, before I knew it, I had none.
Then two summers ago, I moved from Chicago to Corpus Christi. It was as hot as the dickens (from what I’d grown accustom to in Chicago, anyways), and I had to do something about it. And so into Avenue I marched, on a hunt for skirts and, you guessed it, shorts. I found ONE pair, slightly too big in a size 24, but marked down because they were missing a belt loop. I looked and felt terrible in them. They were frumpy, too long for me, and ill-fitting. Only recently did I give them to a church rummage sale and realized I had no non-athletic shorts to speak of.
It’s completely possible I’m over shorts. My thighs are quite large at any weight, and there does not seem to be any length of short that meets the criteria of (a) covering the cellulite, (b) not making me look shorter than I am (5’4″) (c) being on-trend or at least modern and (d) are comfortable.
Stacy and Clinton once told ladies my age that skirts were the new shorts. Since this logic closely aligned with what I was doing anyway, I bought into it. But, I have to say, I’m looking forward to looking good in shorts one day soon. I’ve seen some really good options on other people (not in plus size departments, sadly). I’m just SO sick of wearing jeans to casual functions or volunteer events that involve being outside in the summer, or wearing skirts to functions where I might need to sit on the ground or be active.
Until that day, shorts will remain on my wishlist.
