My last post about balance got me thinking.
I feel every decision in my life affects one of five major areas, and I’m constantly struggling as to which one to go with. The five areas are (in no particular order):
- Career
- Health/fitness
- Spirituality/Christianity
- Finance
- Relationships
So, on Monday last week, when I’d put in 14 hours and had to figure out what to do for dinner this list goes through my mind. The career box is pretty much checked, because work got quite a lot out of this salaried girl that day. I was too emotionally and mentally drained to work out, but eating healthy did cross my mind (and to the best that I can recall, won). Spirituality was not a factor in that particular decision. Finance – oh yes. I could go to the store and buy groceries to last a while – the financially smart thing to do in theory, although I was starving, hadn’t made a list, or a meal plan, and thus would have spent more than I needed to buying who knows what because i was so tired. Relationships: not a factor in this one.
See what I mean though?
Here is another example. A friend of mine wants to take an out of state weekend trip in the near future. This is great for relation ships, not great for healthy eating or finances.
One more: online dating. Good for pursuit of a relationship, not great for finances.
In the spirit of finding balance, I have to wonder how all of these things come together and work well together. Do they ever? Will my life ever be in perfect synch, so that ever decision positively benefits me in every way? I sincerely doubt it. But then, why even attempt to make an improvement in my life, if other areas are negatively affected? Is this why people put God at the center of everything? It certainly seems simpler that way, albeit requiring of a tremendous amount of faith that I sometimes wonder if I have enough of.
I have tried focusing on just one thing before, more or less ignoring most of the other. I have focused on finances – where I would vow to live like a hermit and eat like a college student until I was out of debt. That lasted about 2 weeks before my extroverted self needed a drink out with a friend, or friend got married. I’ve also tried to go gung ho on the weight loss, saying to myself that money was (almost) no object – if Whole Foods, Gym memberships, etc. were what I needed, then charge what I couldn’t pay cash for. No. Balance.
Right now, my life is balanced enough. I have a great guy in my life. I have a good-paying job that meets my financial needs (and will hopefully, in the near future, improve them). Health is plateaued and has been for an annoying amount of time (in terms of weight loss). In terms of career – my hands are in the air as of late. It’s a long personal story that I can’t share publicly, but I feel like I have a big ol’ question mark dangling in front of me. And finally, Spirituality; I’m not sure how to report this one. I feel a constant craving for more. To know more, to feel more, to do more. But, I also feel amazing blessings in my life as of late – answered prayers. It’s like God took ten years of prayers and answered them all in a very short amount of time.
So, if my life isn’t balanced (and likely won’t be for some time, if ever), so be it. I have so much to be thankful for, so much to look forward to, and more balancing acts to learn.