I’m not talking about my waistline. I’m talking about the organ that sits under my left lung and used to have no limits.
I’m on a mini vacation down in Corpus Christi, Texas… where I grew up. On the heels of my nutritionist appointment, I am especially mindful of calories, and I have tracked every calorie to the best of my ability. And yet, I’m so tempted by a couple of my favorite restaurants, particularly Mexican food joints.
However, there used to be no bounds to what my stomach could take. I could eat heavy three meals per day and feel no pressure on the belly. Yesterday, I had a nutritionist-approved Egg McMuffin for breakfast, tall green tea and pudding for mid-morning snack and what I thought was a lightER attempt at one of my favorite Mexican dishes: enchiladas. See, the day before I had overdone it on a tres enchiladas plate, feeling pretty miserable the remaining portion of the day. So yesterday, I instead had ONE enchilada, some chips and a little queso. By 4pm, the time for nutritionist enforced snack, I couldn’t do it. I felt so full, so gross, and like my stomach still couldn’t take another bite. By 6pm,
I still hadn’t eaten when friends invited me to (Mexican) food and conversation. Who can turn down conversation?
I showed up apprehensive about how to marry my still-full stomach with the menu, thinking about how much my body has changed, even if the scale reveals just 20 pounds. It means that I’ve come farther than 20 pounds, and reminds me the scale is just one measure of success.
In the end, I had brothy tortilla soup and nursed a margarita. I forgot to step on the scale this morning (though this is probably a good thing), and I still feel quite full after breakfast, but this week has been a lesson in portion size and encouragement for things to come.