Monthly Archives: July 2012

Jul 30 2012
Leave a comment
Size 18

Procrastination Mechanims

When I was a kid, and it was time to do homework, write a paper, finish my science project or whatever, it always seemed like the very best time to clean my room.  I might have argued that a clean room helped me focus, but really, I thing it was a procrastination mechanism.

I’m forced to face the possibility that my early mornings at the office are a procrastination mechanism.  Now, it is fair to say that I do get quite a lot accomplished at the office before 9am, and it IS making me a better employee.  I would also like to say it makes me feel better to arrive early and feel like I have a head start on my day, and that my mind is fully wrapped around what I have to do when I get there before the majority of others.

However, am I getting more satisfaction out of early work time than I do out of working out?  Likely, yes.

And so I must ask myself a very important question now: how would I feel if I got to work at 9 (instead of 7:30 or 8:00), because I worked out?  On one hand, I feel my day is a tad more sane, and I disappoint fewer satisfy more people by checking items off the list.  Unfortunately, arriving early does not mean I leave any earlier.  On the other hand, when I work out in the morning, I feel really good.  I do not believe, however, that working out makes me more productive.  It does improve my health in general (I’m thinking heart and weight-related maladies).

Where’s my balance?  Here’s the plan: work out at home on the mornings  need to go in early.  This is HARD for me.  I rely heavily, I’m learning, on the atmosphere to get me in the mood.  Just like cooking breakfast at home, working out needs to be a home habit I need to build.  I have Hulu Plus and some kind of exercise TV.  I have DVDs like the kettle ball work out and Jillian Michaels.  It’s time to knock it out.

 

Tagged ,
Jul 26 2012
2 Comments
Size 18

What to Do With Myself

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.  I have an evening with quite literally nothing to do.  I could read, watch TV, learn to program, clean my apartment (which I swear I never have time to do),  do laundry, WORK OUT, research masters programs, call friends.  And what am I doing? Sitting here bored.

How ironic.

I guess we need the occasional nights of boredom to remind us how much we enjoy the hustle and bustle of life.  Sure, when life moves too fast, or work is too stressful, or you have something going on every night, it overwhelms you.  But I just hit the underwhelm zone real fast.

The other thing about this kind of night is it used to make me feel SO LAME.  Maybe they were happening too often back then – not sure.  And that was probably more the case when it fell on a Friday or Saturday night.

Tomorrow morning: Gym.

Jul 26 2012
5 Comments
Size 18

Vacation Weight

Does this happen to others?  You go on a vacation – be it two nights a town a way, a week at home visiting your parent, or the one I’m less familiar with – a one week trip to somewhere that can actually have the prized name of “destination?”  When you get home, you step on the scale and low and behold there is some obnoxious number that (in my case of a two day trip) is an average of 3.5 pounds gained per day.  Per day!

It IS misleading, to a degree.  I expected a little bump, after all I had salty margaritas, and ate food that others prepared (though I very closely watched my portion sizes).  I drank water or un-sweet tea when I wasn’t drinking margs (and even those were limited to maybe 3 on Friday and 3 on Saturday).  I was more active, too – playing in the pool with my “nephew,” as I like to call him (he’s actually my cousin’s child, and therefore my 2nd cousin, I believe – but nephew gets the point across better).

So, Monday morning – SEVEN pounds gained.  Well, and I should say gained from the last time I weighed in, not necessarily the weekend alone.  Tuesday morning, I had lost more than two of those (I think this is salt-related water weight).  Today, another couple of pounds lost.

I know I’m not on an island (though fully expect some judgement from a few folks), but I just don’t “diet” when I’m relaxing like that.  I definitely didn’t “pig out;”  I was reasonable, conservative and only a tad snacky.  The real bummer (for me) is I’m OUT of the 230s once again, and that was a place I wanted to live in for a while (well, at least until I hit the 220s!).

And, I have a looming deadline of August 31st to get into size 16.  I’m quite nervous about this happening on time and so it is CRUNCH TIME.  No alcohol (I quite literally had water at a bar, at a birthday happy hour, this Tuesday).  Count calories, EVEN IF following the South Beach Diet.  Avoid eating out at all costs (this is hard because of my social life, but I must try).  If I do have to eat out, make good choices.  E.g., the company’s COO took me to lunch the other day to a Korean restaurant.  Instead of carb heavy sushi and fried pork in “Lunch B”, I got sauteed vegetables, broth-based soup and a teeny bit of rice.  And ugh – I hate doing it, but I need to cut out the salt, too.  I cut out the shaker a while back, but it slowly made a comeback.  (BTW,  I hate how I talk about salt as though I don’t have control over the shaker – as if it has a mind of it’s own.  It doesn’t, Katie).

I actually did go to the grocery store on my lunch break for health snacks (yogurt, cherries, an apple, hummus), low calorie frozen lunches (yes, these have their drawbacks, but the pro of calorie control right now is worth it to me), and pretzel chips (for that craving of Doritos/SunChips/Ruffles that hits at like 11am, and 2pm, and 4pm).

I also need to cut caffeine back.  It causes food cravings about 2 hours after my last sip, but BOY does it make me productive.  I spent a good couple of hours updating my LinkedIn profile last night, even though I’m not looking for a job (crazy, right?).  I was just on fire and could have worked longer had it not been the sheer fact that I must go to bed in order to have a reasonable amount of hours sleep before waking up (which my body did sans alarm clock at 6am or so).  Aye aye aye.

I will post pictures from this weekend’s trip soon!

Tagged , , , ,
Jul 24 2012
2 Comments
Size 18

Lost: A Rant

I am feeling so lost, ya’ll.  In just about everything.  Some stuff went down at work nearly two months ago and my career became a big question mark to me (or at least that’s how I’m summarizing it after two months of pondering).  Meanwhile, it’s super busy at work, to the point that following a diet has become a challenge (again).

And I’m back to my life balance issue.  Not just work/health this time, but also relationships – friends and boyfriend.  I look at my calendar and I see that I’m doing a lot – something every night.  Dates, Bible study, etc.  It’s me time, but it also takes away from me time, if that make sense.

So yeah.  I’m feeling lost.

My hands are in the air on life – career, friendships, religion.  It feels like so much is in flux.  I think I need to continue to be intentional with my prayer and meditation.  I need to explore career options.  I need to find a diet plan that works immediately, as the end of August is quickly approaching, along with my deadline to be in size 16, and the 18s are still pretty cozy.  Grr.

Jul 17 2012
Leave a comment
Size 18

truth

image

Jul 16 2012
2 Comments
Size 18

My last post about balance got me thinking.

I feel every decision in my life affects one of five major areas, and I’m constantly struggling as to which one to go with.  The five areas are (in no particular order):

  1. Career
  2. Health/fitness
  3. Spirituality/Christianity
  4. Finance
  5. Relationships

So, on Monday last week, when I’d put in 14 hours and had to figure out what to do for dinner this list goes through my mind.  The career box is pretty much checked, because work got quite a lot out of this salaried girl that day.  I was too emotionally and mentally drained to work out, but eating healthy did cross my mind (and to the best that I can recall, won).  Spirituality was not a factor in that particular decision.  Finance – oh yes.  I could go to the store and buy groceries to last a while – the financially smart thing to do in theory, although I was starving, hadn’t made a list, or a meal plan, and thus would have spent more than I needed to buying who knows what because i was so tired.  Relationships: not a factor in this one.

See what I mean though?

Here is another example.  A friend of mine wants to take an out of state weekend trip in the near future.  This is great for relation ships, not great for healthy eating or finances.

One more: online dating.  Good for pursuit of a relationship, not great for finances.

In the spirit of finding balance, I have to wonder how all of these things come together and work well together.  Do they ever?  Will my life ever be in perfect synch, so that ever decision positively benefits me in every way?  I sincerely doubt it.  But then, why even attempt to make an improvement in my life, if other areas are negatively affected?  Is this why people put God at the center of everything?  It certainly seems simpler that way, albeit requiring of a tremendous amount of faith that I sometimes wonder if I have enough of.

I have tried focusing on just one thing before, more or less ignoring most of the other.  I have focused on finances – where I would vow to live like a hermit and eat like a college student until I was out of debt.  That lasted about 2 weeks before my extroverted self needed a drink out with a friend, or friend got married.  I’ve also tried to go gung ho on the weight loss, saying to myself that money was (almost) no object  – if Whole Foods, Gym memberships, etc. were what I needed, then charge what I couldn’t pay cash for.  No. Balance.

Right now, my life is balanced enough.  I have a great guy in my life.  I have a good-paying job that meets my financial needs (and will hopefully, in the near future, improve them).  Health is plateaued and has been for an annoying amount of time (in terms of weight loss).  In terms of career – my hands are in the air as of late.  It’s a long personal story that I can’t share publicly, but I feel like I have a big ol’ question mark dangling in front of me.  And finally, Spirituality; I’m not sure how to report this one.  I feel a constant craving for more.  To know more, to feel more, to do more.  But, I also feel amazing blessings in my life as of late – answered prayers.  It’s like God took ten years of prayers and answered them all in a very short amount of time.

So, if my life isn’t balanced (and likely won’t be for some time, if ever), so be it.  I have so much to be thankful for, so much to look forward to, and more balancing acts to learn.

Tagged
Jul 15 2012
1 Comment
Size 18

Busy Weeks and Great Weekends

This past week has been QUITE the week.  I haven’t tallied my hours worked for my time sheet just yet, but Monday alone was 14 hours.  Ugh.  Not my cup of tea.

As the week went on, the hours de-crescendoed, but it was just rough.  Very little time for my needed moments of prayer, reflection and quiet, let alone the blog.  And, if Monday was my day to go to the grocery store and replenish my South Beach friendly foods, and cook good meals, lets just say I still haven’t been to the store.   And it is Sunday.  And pouring out.  And, and, and.

I guess if I can’t plan far enough in advance, I need to make the best decisions I can in the moment I have to make them.  For this reason,  I had tortilla soup instead of enchiladas, split a dish instead of having my own, ate a big breakfast but then paired it with a light lunch.

This weekend was quite wonderful though.  Lets put it this way: hill country drives, Gruene, TX, cuddling/reading/watching TV on the sofa, hanging out with babies (even though they made it very clear they wanted their mommas), conversation. Awesome, right?

I’m finding new balance in my life.  It’s not perfect – never will be honestly.  Life constantly changes and there’s no set way to do it “right,” no matter what Real “Simple” magazine, or Martha Stewart has to say.  Find balance for this moment, for this week, for this month.  Beyond that, anything can happen and you can’t balance the unknown. :)   I’m not saying don’t plan – I love thinking about the future.  But don’t expect the food plan that worked this week to work a month from now – because you may have taken on a new hobby or a class.  Don’t think the monthly budget you put together for July will work for August, because July had a hair appointment, and August is the annual trip to the vet, and a road trip to see your parents.

What is that saying?  Oh wait, it’s a prayer, and it’s highlighted in my browser so I have likely posted it before:

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

 

Tagged
Jul 08 2012
4 Comments
Size 18

200th Post!

It is nearly impossible to believe this is my 200th post!  What I started back in October 2011 has been so amazing and rewarding.  It has taught me to be reflective, swim in my thoughts, consider my motivations and above all else, has helped me to drop pounds, inches and sizes.

My site has been visited by folks in 50 different countries.  Fifty!  There have been hundreds of comments.  Lots of love.  A little hate.  A few tears and setbacks.  Still, this ride has been so worth it.

When I started this blog, I was scared.  I hated to think who might stumble upon it and know my big weight loss wish.  What if they told me I couldn’t do it?  What if a coworker found it?  What if I failed.  Well, I was told I couldn’t do it, and a coworker did find it, and I’m still thriving while losing weight.

This blog has been such a great support tool.  Friends, Family and Strangers alike have lifted me up, congratulated me, encouraged me, and, quite honestly, humbled me.  I’ve made blogger friends around the country and across the world.

What a blessing it has been.

Tagged
Jul 06 2012
Leave a comment
Size 18

Binge Eating

I recently read a blog post about binge eating.  A couple of posts, by two different girls, in fact.  At first, I really could not relate.  One girl talked about how she had eaten an entire bag of chocolates, which she bought in lieu of a regular sized candy bar, so the clerk would not think the candy was for her, specifically.

At first, I conceitedly thought “Thank God that’s not me.  I have not and would not do something like that.”

But haven’t I?

My cravings have forever been for the gooey.  The cheesy.  The bacon-y.  And when I have binged, I haven’t even done it privately (and I don’t even know which is worse).  My binges have been at parties.  I hover over the snack table dipping into queso, munching on bacon-wrapped anythings, crunching on tortilla chips.  Oh, and speeding the whole process with either diet soda or booze.

In writing my last post about Acid Reflux, I’m reminded of a company event at a cooking school where we learned to make crab rangoon, and I proceeded to eat enough to make me sick (I’m sure the alcohol played a role in that too).

One, shame on me for thinking I’m above it – just because my binges haven’t been sweet-tooth-induced, and happen behind closed doors.  Two, I am thankful I can see this weakness in myself now, while I’m in a good place, and recognize it hasn’t happened in a very long time.

Intentional eating.  It keeps ringing so true to my weight loss efforts – both in quality and quantity.

Jul 06 2012
1 Comment
Size 18

Fried Food

Maybe this post should be titled “Acid Reflux,” as this is the true culprit of the story.  Scratch that.  “Bad Decisions.”

I have acid reflux.  Such a terrible name for a condition.  Acid never sounds good, and then reflux sounds like…. well.  Anyway.  I have it.

When I lived in Chicago, I had a FANTASTIC doctor that I would recommend to anyone, who recommended I control the AR through diet.  The goal was to identify what foods caused it, and then avoid those foods.  The usual suspects are tomato sauce, onion, citrus, etc.  I happened to find that for me, fried or greasy food and acidic beverages were also triggers.  So, it makes sense I should avoid those anyway.

Well, I did avoid those foods for the most part, but every once in a while, I would eat something that would wake me up in the middle of the night making me wish I ate nothing but baked goods all day (as these are very benign on my stomach). I had some medicines on hand, but they never worked fast enough, and I just felt sick, clammy and nauseous for about an hour before falling asleep again.

When I moved to Austin, I talked to my doctor.  He put me on a daily pill that really did the trick.  Only, I’ve gotten out of the habit of taking it lately.  And so, for three nights this past week, I woke up, in a cold sweat, worried I might be sick, and trying to treat with more immediate remedies like sleeping upright and drinking ice water.

Really though, it goes back to what the first doctor told me – food choice.  On all occasions, I’d had something bad for me at some point that day (something fried).  South Beach or not, certain foods just do this to me, and they are foods that I shouldn’t be eating anyway.

This whole thing made me wonder if the pill was disguising my bad choices from me.  For now, I will go back to good food choices AND the pill, and hopefully have some rest-filled nights.  I guess I will chock this one up to lessons (re)learned.

Tagged
← Older posts
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 546 other followers