I am pretty shy about this blog. I shared it slowly with friends and family members. There were (and are still) family members I purposely did NOT share the blog with because I feared what they said. Well, as it is human nature to talk, they talked. Within two days of starting the website, word had gotten to someone I had purposely not shared the blog with.
This person has always been a straight-shooter. It’s rare you see a tender side to her, because she grew up surviving. When she told me she’d heard about the site, she thought it was great, great, great. BUT, she told me I will never be a size 8.
My heart sank.
She hadn’t actually SEEN the site at that point, so she asked if I’d sent her the link. I hadn’t. When she asked why I hadn’t included her, I told her it was because I’d figured she would say something like she had. She started to wheel back and explain herself and blah blah blah.
I get it. Granted she doesn’t think I can do it, what she was TRYING to say was that I should be happy to get to a size 12 or so. I shouldn’t be disappointed if only I get that far.
What really irks me is what I said next. I said that a size 8 was a goal and once I proved to myself I could do it, I’d probably go back to a comfortable 10 or 12. Why? Why would I say that? Do I have doubt in myself? Do I not think I can maintain a smaller size? If anything I should have said Oh Yeah? Watch me! But just like she was trying to forgive me ahead of time for not reaching my ultimate goal, I was giving myself an out as well. I really don’t know what to make of this though I continue to ponder. Thoughts? Wisdom? Experience?