single digit denim

I am pretty shy about this blog.  I shared it slowly with friends and family members.  There were (and are still) family members I purposely did NOT share the blog with because I feared what they said.  Well, as it is human nature to talk, they talked.  Within two days of starting the website, word had gotten to someone I had purposely not shared the blog with.

This person has always been a straight-shooter.  It’s rare you see a tender side to her, because she grew up surviving.  When she told me she’d heard about the site, she thought it was great, great, great.  BUT, she told me I will never be a size 8.

My heart sank.

She hadn’t actually SEEN the site at that point, so she asked if I’d sent her the link.  I hadn’t. When she asked why I hadn’t included her, I told her it was because I’d figured she would say something like she had.  She started to wheel back and explain herself and blah blah blah.

I get it. Granted she doesn’t think I can do it, what she was TRYING to say was that I should be happy to get to a size 12 or so.  I shouldn’t be disappointed if only I get that far.

What really irks me is what I said next.  I said that a size 8 was a goal and once I proved to myself I could do it, I’d probably go back to a comfortable 10 or 12.  Why?  Why would I say that?  Do I have doubt in myself?  Do I not think I can maintain a smaller size?  If anything I should have said Oh Yeah?  Watch me!  But just like she was trying to forgive me ahead of time for not reaching my ultimate goal, I was giving myself an out as well.  I really don’t know what to make of this though I continue to ponder.  Thoughts?  Wisdom?  Experience?